You know what the most annoying part about having anxiety is? Trying to explain to someone that you’re aware of the fact that you jumped across the Grand Canyon to come to your conclusion but that doesn’t negate the fact that the conclusion you came to still shook you to the core!

Side Note: “Shook to the core” is actually a pretty accurate description of the feeling of some anxiety attacks.”

The gag is, the whole reason that I have been diagnosed with an anxiety disorder is because I become overwhelmingly anxious about something... It can be something big and life altering, a minute inconvenience, or even for no reason at all. This is why when an ignorant person says something like “We all have anxiety” or belittles your feelings, it is sooooooooo irritating. I know my thought pattern is irrational, Carol, but I’m still hyperventilating and you telling me that you get anxious when changing lanes on the Dan Ryan isn’t helping!

The other gag is, looking back over some of the things that have been fabricated by my anxious mind is actually hilarious. So if you have a dark sense of humor or you just know what it’s like to be an anxious individual, then you’ll enjoy my blog series Please Excuse Me While I Have A Brief Moment of Hysteria Due To This Slightly Stressful Situation.

The first story that I can think of is when I failed my first class. I was a freshman in college, my brother had just had a stroke, my boyfriend was an Asslete (Asshole+Athlete=Asslete), and I was working and going to school full time. Ya girl was WORN OUT! So when I looked at my grades at the end of the quarter….JEESSSUUUSSSS….I LOST IT!! By mid-panic attack I had convinced myself that I was going to have a cumulative GPA of 1.7... mind you the quarter before I was invited to join an honors fraternity.

I found out at work so I was silently crying at the front desk, I emailed my scholarship advisor, I got light headed and dizzy, it was mad real! In fact, my edges may have fallen out right at that moment! I was...SHOOK TO THE CORE (see, I told you so).

My scholarship advisor calmly and quickly emailed me back with the correct adjustment to my GPA and basically told me to take a nap, which was my come to jesus moment that snapped me out of that episode. In totality, the whole ordeal took less than a half hour but I had already convinced myself that I was going to have to drop out of school, work for a few years to build rapport, thought of where I was going to live after being disowned, and took tylenol for the pounding headache that I incurred. Anxiety can be like moving in hyper speed so when I tell you that, that was the longest half hour of my life, that was the longest half hour of my life and I was hyperactive the entire time. All I could say was Ooh Jesus and laugh by the time I read that email.

If I had known that I had an anxiety disorder back then...or even if I had a normal level of anxiety and not a full blown fight or flight reaction, I could’ve easily wrapped that half hour session into a brief moment of hysteria. But since I didn’t or don’t, the little inconvenience of a panic attack made a guest appearance that day.

Now, I’m much better equipped to handle such situations and have limited my anxiety and panic attacks to merely a fraction of a second...so please… excuse me while I have brief moment of hysteria due to this slightly stressful situation.

Blogger’s Note: Shout out to Mel for insisting on the alliteration on “slightly stressful situation”. She was intent on that triple S and I’m not even mad, it sounds dope. And these videos were taken LOOONNGG  before I ever thought of starting a blog, so this is genuinely just who I am as a person.

Peace, Love, Soul, and Emerithing else,

Em