The Forgotten Lessons of Life <3
Have you ever sat down and thought about how many lessons you've learned?? And how many of those lessons that you've forgotten??
Forgotten lesson #1... I am the ruler of my own life... somewhere between asking if “I may go to the bathroom” in class and paying rent, I became an adult. For as long as I can remember, important decisions were not left up to me. Just as the transitional period of my independence began and I was slated to make a few decisions for myself, I handed over my decision making rights to my significant other... what do you mean by that, Emeri?
Well I’ll explain more by referring to a popular stereotype of women... “women are horrible at, or will not make decisions”. I see memes about this, people have joked with me about this, but the truth is, is that it isn’t funny. The core of why myself and many other women don’t like to make decisions is abuse and or trauma.
Making a decision is truly the most stressful thing in the world to me and that’s because of a learned behavior from a past relationship. I would be asked to make a decision but no matter what my choice was, I was chastised for it... so then I stopped caring... I don’t want to be asked if I want KFC or Popeyes, respond that I want Popeyes, and then get told Popeyes sucks and I’m stupid, that’s not fun...
In addition to it not being fun, it also essentially dismantles the foundation of self trust. If I feel awful about making a small decision, such as where to eat, then how do you think I feel about deciding whether or not I’m worth more than the awful relationship that I’m in? And that ladies and gentlemen is how I handed over my decision making rights, right when I was about 18 years old.
It only took me 4 years of self reflection and hundreds of conversations to realize that my life is about me, myself, and I. I am not intended to live for any other human being. The choices that I make are to make me happy and the people who I care to consider happy. The same goes for all of you. Your life is yours and unique. Do not feel selfish for considering yourself...on the other hand, true self love does not negate another being’s self love.
I believe that is the difference between self consideration and being selfish in the most negative meaning of the word. If you truly understand your own self worth, self love, etc then there is absolutely no way in hell that you will not have compassion and/or respect for another being who is essentially doing the same thing, this is where the idea of compromise comes from.
I’ll admit that last part wasn’t a forgotten lesson as much as a tangent but it goes along with the general theme here....which is basically
“YOU IS KIND! YOU IS SMART! YOU IS IMPORTANT!” Or in other words, be sure to have at least one moment of pure self consideration a day because you're worth it!
Peace, Love, Soul, and Emerthing like that,
Em