How did I pray while being prey?

Praying as prey.

Because there is no other way

To be sure;

And or endure.

Open eyes and heart

In meditation.

Giving honor, praise,

And adoration.

So that this earthen vessel may be filled

With all that God has willed.

Nothing more or nothing less.

For it is the faithful servant who God will surely bless.

I have been reflecting on ALL the times that I was STRONGLY URGED to pray.

While in reflection, God illuminated the common thread of my prayers while under attack... physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.

Those prayers are truly my saving grace, to this day. 

I’ve been careful not to share those prayers because of the circumstances under which they happened.

Circumstances are the natural book covers that we are all so easily distracted by.

However, the truth is that,

Where I’m at is where I’m at. 

And guess what? 

God is here with me, just as is God there, where you are at.

God is omnipresent. Welcome.

I laid my head down on the desk in my 1st period class just to get a little rest.

But the next thing I remember, is being wheeled away to the nurses office. 

My eyes were open and I was breathing but I couldn’t move.

I was there but scarily silent and still.

After that experience, I promised myself that if I ever felt that way again,

I would say or do something about it.

My eyes were closed and I was upside down. I was screaming and there were bricks scraping against my abdomen.

For a second I wondered where I was at,

then I realized that I was here... or there that is.

So I started screaming no, because this is THAT promise, I know!

I kicked my legs and swung my arms but I was upside down so my efforts proved to be futile. 

My ears were ringing and somehow it sounded like I was under water...

but I could hear leaves rustling in the distance...

so I screamed a little louder and attempted to swing myself back up right...

but he pushed me back down...

this time I was silent and still again...

but then there were those foot steps that I heard...t

his time he heard them, too and got off of me. 

Several figures emerged on the trail giggling and laughing.

And so I thought, Thank you God!

I’m saved, this time I screamed, so I am safe...

I was out of breath and in pain so I was still and silent as the people walked by without acknowledgement.

I remember thinking could you not hear me?

Was I not loud enough?

Why are y’all walking past me!?

I’m right here.

Help me!

Please, please don’t walk away!

Unfortunately, no one, but God heard me that day. 

God said, 

Emeri, move. 

So I crossed over myself with my left foot and then my right in order to change direction and took off running in flip flops that were far too big for my feet and not appropriate for a hiking trail.

As soon as my feet started moving, the tears started flowing. 

He came right after me, though.

In my ear the entire time…